Is Marriage Still a Good Deal for Women? TikTok and Research Say Maybe Not

Let’s just say it: Marriage is having a PR crisis—especially with Gen Z women. One viral TikTok by @hebatalks sums up the growing skepticism: “I know the TikTok shifts are gonna come for my neck, but I don’t really believe in marriage, not in modern day at least.”

In the video, which has racked up thousands of comments, she breaks down why the institution feels like a trap for women. The logic? Marriage often means that women sacrifice their careers, health, and happiness to keep a household running, while men reap the benefits of partnership without carrying an equal share of emotional or domestic labor.

Marriage and the Uneven Load Women Still Carry

TikTok isn’t the only place this conversation is blowing up. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics’ American Time Use Survey, employed women still work a full day—around 7 hours and 20 minutes—while also doing more childcare and household chores than men. That includes cooking, cleaning, and parenting. Men, on average, do less of all three.

As women’s work hours increase, their sleep and leisure time have decreased. The pressure is so intense that even rest is a luxury. Yet many women still feel like marriage is a requirement, not a choice.

Divorce Is Having a Glow-Up—Especially for Women

Despite lingering stigma, divorce is increasingly being reframed as a liberating decision. According to a study from Kingston University in London, women are significantly happier for up to five years post-divorce. Why? Freedom. Autonomy. A shot at career growth and personal fulfillment.

Authors like Clementine Ford (“I Don’t”) and Lyz Lenz (“This American Ex-Wife”) are publishing bestsellers about how leaving their marriages helped them rediscover themselves. And celebrities like Drew Barrymore and Gisele Bündchen have spoken publicly about how divorce brought them clarity, opportunity, and peace.

Marriage Isn’t Just Emotional—It’s Economic

Let’s talk logistics. Marriage can provide legal and financial benefits, but only when things go well. Women still face a financial penalty after divorce, but many gain something they’d been missing: time, autonomy, and in some cases, better parenting dynamics.

Lenz, for instance, writes that shared custody gave her more time to focus on her career, pursue comedy, and cook—or not cook—on her own terms. As she puts it, “I had more friends because I could be a better friend.”

Marriage Leaves Women Emotionally Exhausted

Marriage can also be emotionally draining for women. According to Psychology Today, the issue isn’t just the labor imbalance. It’s the lack of empathy. Women are tired of carrying the emotional weight of the relationship. They often feel unseen, unheard, and unsupported.

And it’s not just personal experience—it’s data. Nearly 69% of divorces are initiated by women. Many people say they feel lonelier in marriage than they ever did when they were single.

The TikTok Generation Isn’t Just Bitter—They’re Observant

“I yearn for it, but logically I don’t really care for it,” Heba says in her TikTok. That line resonated hard. The comment section lit up with women sharing similar feelings. One wrote, “Marriage significantly improves men’s lives, not ours.” Another added, “Our moms and aunts are miserable in their marriages—and no one talks about it.”

Others pointed out how the system benefits men: “They get a maid, a cook, emotional support, and sex, while we get burnt out.” For many, the risk-to-reward ratio simply doesn’t add up.

So… Is Marriage a Scam?

Some call it outdated. Others call it exploitative. And some married women agree, even when they’re in happy relationships. One commenter said: “I’m in a very happy marriage, and I still agree. It’s not worth it for most women.”

Marriage may still be the right choice for some. But as Gen Z women examine their options, many are saying: “I’m good.” Not because they don’t want love, but because they finally see the fine print. And they’re not signing unless the deal is equal.