From ‘MRS Degree’ to Reclaiming Personhood: Why Daughters Are No Longer Raised to Be Wives
“Daughters are no longer being raised to be wives. Daughters are now being raised to be people.” TikTok creator Thomas Burke said the quiet part out loud, and the internet listened. The quote came in response to conservative commentator Charlie Kirk telling a 14-year-old girl at a Young Women’s Leadership Summit in Dallas, Texas, that she should go to college to find a husband.
When she asked Kirk for advice about starting a career in political journalism, he pivoted: “Who’s here where your top priority is to get married and have kids? Raise your hand,” he said, according to Salon. He added, “Interestingly, I think there’s an argument to bring back the ‘MRS degree.'”
‘Daughters are no longer raised to be wives’ sparked a viral firestorm
Burke’s TikTok response quickly went viral. “Last week, Charlie Kirk was asked by a 14-year-old girl what she should focus on in college,” he said. “And he told her, finding a husband.”
Burke later added, “So I don’t want to hear about how other countries treat their women because our country treats women like objects, and the only grooming that is actually happening is people like Charlie Kirk who are indoctrinating prepubescent girls into only finding value within a heteronormative marriage.”
On X (formerly Twitter), the conversation expanded. One viral tweet read: “They’re not being taught to sacrifice. Not being told that marriage is the finish line. They’re questioning things. To society, their freedom looks like defiance.”
Another user wrote, “They were never scared of our freedom. They were scared of losing control.”
Why Kirk’s comment about an “MRS degree” hit a nerve
The phrase “MRS degree” refers to the outdated notion of attending college solely to marry an educated man. Kirk told the crowd of teen girls that it’s “a really good reason to go to college, actually. Especially, an SEC school.”
He added, “It doesn’t get better after college,” and, “That actually was the reason why a lot of women went to college… and it worked.”
However, according to Dinah Hannaford, an anthropology professor at the University of Houston, women around the world are actively opting out of traditional marriage structures. In her book Opting Out: Women Messing with Marriage Around the World, Hannaford notes that women are finding purpose and fulfillment in extended families, friendships, careers, and self-discovery.
She told UH News, “Marriage has mostly not been a great situation for women historically and across the world, and they’re trying to find alternative solutions.”
When daughters are raised to be people
The backlash to Kirk’s statement extends beyond one speaker and one event. It reflects a generational shift in how women perceive partnership, autonomy, and adulthood.
On Reddit, commenters shared stories of being told as children to marry well instead of study hard. One user recalled being expelled from second grade at a Catholic school and her teacher telling her mom, “She should hope to marry a good Christian boy to take care of her.”
Meanwhile, conversations on YouTube and TikTok pointed to the emotional manipulation embedded in conservative views of marriage. YouTuber Maryjane Nwankwo said, “Daughters are now being raised to be people, and that is pissing a lot of people off.”
She added, “Why are women still getting shamed by these [people]? Because we’re simply existing.”
‘Daughters are no longer raised to be wives’ reflects a global shift
According to The Guardian, the number of single women is increasing globally. Journalist Emma John wrote in 2021 that the number of never-married women aged 40 to 70 in the UK had increased by half a million in the previous two years.
In her piece, John asked, “As modern, single women, we are not supposed to feel that we’re missing out. And so we feel obliged to hide any feelings of shame or inadequacy or longing.”
In Japan, women over 25 used to be dubbed “Christmas cakes” for being past their sell-by date. Similarly, in South Korea, the term “gold miss” now refers to successful unmarried women. In Barbados, as anthropologist Carla Freeman documented, many divorced women chose to remain single, relying on friendships and extended kin for joy and support.
The conversation goes beyond marriage
Ultimately, the viral moment about daughters and wives taps into something much deeper than relationship status. It’s about autonomy, generational healing, and rejecting a culture that teaches women their worth lies in submission.
“Psychology has a term for this,” said one TikToker. “It’s called social justification theory. People are wired to defend the systems they grew up in, even if those systems are unfair.”
As Burke said in his original viral clip, daughters are being raised to be full people with goals and boundaries. And that’s making a lot of people very uncomfortable.
