Her Body, His Tantrum: Reddit Rallies Around Woman Whose Boyfriend Opposes Her Hysterectomy
A Reddit post has set the internet ablaze after a 32-year-old woman shared that her boyfriend of less than a year is trying to stop her from getting a medically necessary hysterectomy—a procedure she has been preparing for due to years of debilitating pain.
The post, written by Reddit user u/ar-Associate-9980, details her struggles with stage 4 endometriosis and adenomyosis, conditions that have left her in constant pain, cost her multiple jobs, and forced her onto disability. While a hysterectomy will not cure her endometriosis, it will eliminate the extreme pain and heavy bleeding caused by adenomyosis. Yet, her boyfriend, who had previously been a supportive friend for over a decade, has done a complete 180—now calling her “selfish” and demanding that they make the decision “as a couple.”
AIO to my boyfriend’s response to my hysterectomy?
byu/Far-Associate-9980 inAmIOverreacting
His Change of Heart? It’s All About Him
According to her post, her boyfriend was always aware of her condition and had never expressed a desire for children. He even encouraged her to consider the surgery before they were romantically involved. However, after they started dating, he decided that her decision to prioritize her health was a personal attack against him.
“He said for the last 12 years he doesn’t want kids. Told me the same thing last week when I booked my appointment. We agreed when we got together that kids are not in our future,” she wrote.
Despite knowing about her long history of infertility and the extreme pain she endures, his messages turned into an emotional guilt trip. Screenshots she shared showed him accusing her of “giving up” on their future and questioning why she attempted in vitro fertilization (IVF) with her ex-husband but won’t with him.
“So you want to have kids with him but not me? Got it.”
His messages didn’t stop there. He also told her there are “millions of women who deal with the pain every day” and that she is “not special.” At one point, he even pulled the religion card—despite not being religious himself—telling her it’s a “sin” to remove body parts.
The Internet Unleashes Its Fury
It didn’t take long for the hysterectomy conversation to turn into a full-on digital intervention. Reddit users flooded the comment section, urging the woman to break up immediately. Many pointed out the disturbing shift in behavior, suggesting that he sees her body as his possession now that they are dating.
“He was a good person and supportive when you were a friend and he saw you as a person. He now sees you as a potential baby maker and piece of property and he’s reacting accordingly,” wrote one commenter.
Another user, u/Technical_Work9590, noted how he was weaponizing her own religious beliefs against her. “He isn’t even the religious one. OP is. He’s using her religion against her. That makes it even more vile… which I didn’t think was even possible.”
Hysterectomy: A Medical Necessity, Not a Relationship Debate
Doctors recommend a hysterectomy for many medical conditions, particularly in cases like adenomyosis where pain and bleeding are severe. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), hysterectomies can significantly improve quality of life for those who suffer from conditions like endometriosis, adenomyosis, or fibroids.
Redditors who have undergone the procedure reassured the original poster that she was making the right choice for her health. u/Beautiful-Bus7295, who had a hysterectomy a year ago, wrote: “Anyone who could watch you suffer like this, and then call you selfish for wanting to end that pain, is not someone you want to be with. They have shown you who they are—believe them.”
A Relationship Ending in Realization
For u/ar-Associate-9980, the internet’s overwhelming support provided clarity. She later updated the post, acknowledging that staying with him would also mean losing their long-standing friendship. But after seeing his true colors, she admitted: “I don’t want to be friends with him after this.”
As for her surgery? She’s moving forward with it—on her terms.
