2024 Election Fallout: How to Handle Love When Your Partner Voted the Other Way
In 2024, politics in the U.S. isn’t just about candidates; it’s about values. People are voting on issues that hit close to home, shaping their lives, beliefs, and, yes, their relationships. This isn’t a simple Pepsi vs. Coke debate—who you vote for reflects your core beliefs. As a relationship expert, I believe you deserve a partner who aligns with your values. And as someone who has experienced sexual abuse, I’ll always urge you to prioritize your safety and well-being.
While America feels divided, your romantic relationships don’t have to be. Choosing who to love is as personal as choosing who to vote for. You have the right to seek someone who shares your values—and to say goodbye to anyone who doesn’t.
My Journey with Values in Relationships
I was born and raised in Los Angeles to Mexican parents, and our home was filled with conversations about immigration. I had the privilege of having citizenship, but many of my family members didn’t. After building a successful career in marketing and tech training, I took a one-year sabbatical to be closer to my family, who had moved from California to Nebraska in 2008 for better opportunities. My stay there was meant to be temporary, but a job in New York fell through, keeping me in Nebraska longer than expected.
Determined to make the most of my situation, I began dating. One early date was with a kind, successful man who seemed promising, but his political beliefs clashed with mine. He mocked the Obamas, and when I told him I admired them, he dismissed my undocumented family members, saying, “You’re not like ‘them.'” He tried to convince me not to let “politics” ruin a “potentially great relationship.” But I knew that my safety and values came first, so I gently declined his invitation for a third date.
Then, on September 7, 2017, I met the love of my life. Our first date was pure chemistry, but I knew I had to be cautious. On our second date, I told him about my undocumented family members and asked his opinion. He shared that he saw immigration as a broken system and believed my family deserved the same opportunities his immigrant ancestors had. When I asked about LGBTQ rights, he expressed his support. Seven years later, he’s shown those values consistently, blending seamlessly into my family’s gatherings and respecting my friends. I found my blue dot in a sea of red.
When it Comes to Relationships, You Must Know Your Core Values
Those are my values, but they don’t have to be yours. Take the time to identify your core values. Find someone who shares those beliefs, and don’t compromise. A relationship shouldn’t be a constant battle to change someone’s mind on something central to your life.
As of November 2024, Trump has been elected for a second term. If you supported him, congratulations on your win. I genuinely hope you find someone who matches your values. I found my match, and I hope you do too.
How to Open the Conversation on Values
When it comes to core values, don’t settle or negotiate. Seek someone who aligns with you on fundamental issues. There’s no perfect person, but there is a perfect match. Compromise on core values can lead to frustration and resentment.
For less critical issues, approach with curiosity. Ask questions to understand your partner’s perspective and work toward a resolution, not a compromise. If you want to learn more about the pitfalls of compromising, I recommend reading Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss.
Now, What To Do When There’s No Middle Ground
First, ask yourself if you feel safe saying goodbye to this person without needing a friend present. If the answer is yes, proceed with confidence. If it’s no, seek support from someone you trust.
Ending the Relationship and Moving On
If your values don’t align, it may be time to move on. While ghosting isn’t the answer, blocking is completely acceptable if someone has disrespected you. Blocking empowers you; ghosting doesn’t.
Here’s how to handle the conversation based on your relationship length:
- In a committed relationship (3+ months): Meet in person if it’s safe. Let them know you don’t see a future together but enjoyed the time you shared. You don’t need to explain your values—they already know, and further discussion will likely lead to frustration.
- New or brief connection: A simple text works. Say, “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t think we’re a match. Wishing you all the best on your journey.”
That’s it—no need to over-explain.
What Really Matters in Love
A healthy relationship starts with shared core values. Next, foster open communication by asking clarifying questions to avoid misunderstandings. Simply asking, “Can I ask what you mean by that?” can prevent many arguments. Finally, practice “forgiveness and reset.” Accept sincere apologies and move forward without holding onto past hurts. Think of it like resetting a computer: let go and start fresh.
Emmy Hernandez is The Executive Woman’s Soulmate Strategist, uniquely bridging science and spirit to help successful women find extraordinary love. Through her innovative approach that combines cutting-edge relationship research with intuitive wisdom, she has helped countless high-achieving women create deeply fulfilling relationships without sacrificing their professional success.
