When Doctors Gaslight Women, Pelvic Pain Becomes a Silent Epidemic, New Study Finds

Imagine being in pain—intimate, constant, and confusing pain—and being told by your doctor to just have a glass of wine. To relax. To see a therapist. Now imagine hearing that over and over again. That’s the reality for too many women navigating vulvovaginal disorders in the U.S.—and a new study finally has the data to back them up.

Yes, Doctors Gaslight Women—And This Study Proves It

In a groundbreaking study published in JAMA Network Open, researchers surveyed 447 women seeking care at a vulvovaginal disorders clinic between August 2023 and February 2024. The numbers are stark: 52.8% considered quitting care altogether after repeated dismissals from doctors. According to the study, 39.4% said they were made to “feel crazy,” and 20.6% were straight-up told to drink alcohol to cope with their symptoms.

Lead author Dr. Chailee Moss, OB-GYN and adjunct professor at George Washington University, said the idea for the study came from “years and years of hearing such experiences from patients and feeling like the broader medical community didn’t know how distressing the comments were.”

What Happens When Doctors Dismiss Pain as ‘All in Your Head’

The survey, developed with advocacy groups like the National Vulvodynia Association and Tight-Lipped, included questions such as:

• “Have you ever been told that you just need to relax more?”
• “Have you been recommended alcohol to deal with pain?”
• “Did a provider ever dismiss your pain during a pelvic exam as normal?”

The results? Nearly half of the participants had been told to just “relax.” About 20% were advised to self-medicate with alcohol. A disturbing 16.8% said they felt unsafe during a medical encounter. And more than half had been told that severe pain during a pelvic exam was “normal.”

These aren’t isolated incidents. They’re part of what the study calls “epistemic injustice”—when someone in power makes you doubt your own reality. In medical terms, it’s gaslighting. And when doctors gaslight women, especially about pelvic pain, the consequences are more than emotional. Delayed diagnoses, mismanaged symptoms, and a deep mistrust of the healthcare system follow.

Why Doctors Gaslight Women With Chronic Pelvic Pain

So why does this keep happening? According to the study, many doctors simply lack training in pelvic pain. The result is a dismissive attitude, often shaped by sexism, racism, and outdated notions about women’s bodies.

As Dr. Alessandra Hirsch, OB-GYN at Columbia University, told NBC News: “In the whole medical community, there’s a history to contend with providers not believing in women’s pain.” She added that the study was upsetting but unsurprising, especially when it comes to conditions like endometriosis, which can take years to properly diagnose.

Dr. Roger Dmochowski, a professor at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, emphasized that the solution starts with listening: “Women are persistently ignored or depreciated for their symptoms… A really critical part is listening to what the patient says.”

The Emotional Fallout of Being Dismissed

Being gaslighted by your doctor isn’t just annoying—it’s traumatic. Patients reported feelings of futility, distress, and hopelessness. Some stopped seeking care altogether. One of the most distressing behaviors? Being told their symptoms were just “in their head.” That particular comment scored a 7.39 out of 10 on the distress scale. The average patient had seen five clinicians before reaching the referral clinic—many felt like they had nowhere else to turn.

“Patients with dermatologic or neurologic conditions causing pain can develop worsening secondary pelvic floor muscle dysfunction,” the study explains. That means the longer care is delayed, the worse the pain becomes. And for patients with conditions like persistent genital arousal disorder (PGAD), the stakes are even higher—studies show that more than half have considered suicide.

What to Do If a Doctor Gaslights You

The study’s authors stress the importance of trauma-informed care and shared decision-making. If your doctor isn’t listening to you, it’s okay to walk away. As Dr. Dmochowski put it: “Don’t give up. A couple of negative experiences should not dissuade you from seeking care.”

Dr. Hirsch agrees: “There is a chronic pain study that showed that patients who had providers they felt were attentive and listened to them scored lower on symptom severity.” Listening isn’t just respectful—it’s clinical best practice.