Nearly Half of Domestic Violence Survivors Stay Because They Can’t Leave Their Pets Behind

Leaving an abuser is hard. Leaving a pet behind can feel impossible. That choice keeps many survivors in danger longer. According to the University of Washington, nearly half of relationship abuse survivors delay leaving because they cannot take their pet with them. Only a small share of shelters allow animals. The result is a heartbreaking standstill where love for a pet collides with survival.

Domestic Violence and pets: the numbers we ignore

The University of Washington cites National Coalition Against Domestic Violence findings that more than 70 percent of women in domestic violence shelters report an abuser threatened, injured, or killed a pet. RedRover adds that nearly half of victims stay with an abuser rather than leave their pet behind. RedRover also reports that as many as 25 percent of survivors return because the abuser uses the pet to force them back.

The Domestic Violence Awareness Project echoes that up to 70 percent of victims have pets and that 48 to 71 percent of those pets have been abused or killed, with 20 to 65 percent of victims delaying escape because they cannot protect their animals.

Pets are family, and abusers know it

Survivors describe pets as emotional lifelines. That bond becomes a weapon in abusive homes. In fact, many survivors see pets as family and a source of unconditional support. For their part, DomesticShelters.org reported survivors staying months or years longer due to fear for animals, and shared accounts where abusers threatened or hurt pets. New reports also found that people who abuse animals are far more likely to harm humans. Furthermore, the Domestic Violence Awareness Project notes that abusers use pets to control, manipulate, and isolate.

“I won’t leave without my cat”

According to the CEO of Sojourner Center, Dr. Maria Garay, their data reports that “up to 40 percent of women will not leave an abusive relationship because they can’t take their pet.” Survivor Jennifer Preslar recalled being told at intake, “Well, you can’t leave your cat in the car, but you can’t have him here.” Her son described how their cat comforts his mom: “He keeps her company, and he keeps her warm.” The center partnered with PetSmart on a “pet companion shelter” to keep families and animals together. PetSmart’s Andy Izquierdo said, “Psychologically, and physically, they make us more well.”

Domestic Violence shelters that accept pets are still rare

Access lags far behind need. The University of Washington states that only 17 percent of domestic violence shelters accept pets. However, New York Public Radio reported on the Urban Resource Institute’s pilot to allow survivors to bring pets into shelter apartments. URI outfitted units for small animals and planned to expand to dogs after raising funds for dog runs, according to URI President Nathaniel Fields. He explained the goal: if survivors have pets, they need safe options within the shelter.

Survivors say the pet barrier is real

DomesticShelters.org gathered firsthand accounts of the pet dilemma. One survivor wrote, “Having a pet delayed getting away by months.” Another said, “My dogs are my lifeline.” A reader shared, “I stayed at a pet-friendly hotel for a few nights… a local rescue… temporarily fostered them until I got my own place.” Others faced devastating outcomes. One survivor described leaving animals at a humane society for care. The throughline in the stories is clear: Pets can make the difference between staying and escaping.

Solutions that let everyone heal

Projects across the country aim to remove the pet barrier. RedRover’s Safe Escape grants pay for pet boarding, allowing families to flee together. Safe Housing grants help shelters establish pet programs tailored to local needs. RedRover’s Purple Leash Project, funded by Purina, trains shelters to welcome animals and works toward a goal of 25 percent pet-friendly shelters by 2025. The University of Washington points survivors and advocates to the Safe Havens Mapping Project to find local options. The Sojourner Center model shows how a shelter can add kennels and study what works to scale it.

Domestic Violence advocacy is changing laws too

Similarly, courts can help protect animals. The Domestic Violence Awareness Project notes that many states allow judges to include companion animals in protection orders. That step keeps pets out of an abuser’s reach and lowers the risk that survivors return to danger. RedRover highlights growing state legislation to train frontline workers and to include pets in protective orders.

How to support someone who is stuck because of a pet

Start with information and money. The University of Washington directs supporters to Purple Leash Project donations and volunteering. Similarly, RedRover lists training at DontForgetThePets.org, and grants that survivors can use quickly. DomesticShelters.org urges Family Justice Centers and shelters to add pet-inclusive policies. If you work at a shelter or hotline, the Safe Havens Mapping Project can help build partnerships with veterinarians, rescues, and foster networks.