Sex and Chronic Pain: How Pleasure Can Be Your Secret Painkiller

Let’s get uncomfortable for a moment, shall we? Let’s talk about sex. In fact, let’s talk about chronic pain and sex. Although these topics remain taboo for many—especially in our Latino culture—they are part of our overall health and affect our day-to-day lives, even when we pretend they don’t exist.

However, it’s understandable that for someone with conditions like arthritis, migraines, autoimmune diseases like fibromyalgia, or even cancer, sex and pleasure are at the bottom of the priority list.

But what if sex could help cope with pain?

Approximately 25% of adults in the United States experience chronic pain. It’s one of the most common reasons someone seeks medical attention. At the same time, 26% of Americans claim to have had no sexual intercourse in 2021.

According to a study published in April 2024, chronic pain and sexual problems are subjectively related. On the one hand, half of people with chronic pain often have one or more areas of sexual dysfunction. But on the other hand, many are unaware of the benefits of orgasm and pleasure in relieving pain.

But how does it work?

“Sex isn’t just fun; it has a whole host of incredible benefits for people experiencing low levels of fitness, health issues, chronic pain, or even menstrual pain,” Vicki Lyons, sexual wellness expert and editor-in-chief of Bodyjoys, told FIERCE.

Lyons explained that pleasure—partnered or solo—helps the body release endorphins and oxytocin. These are natural “happy hormones” and painkillers. Plus, these hormones “are also great for relaxing,” she added, giving your body “more time to recover from both physical and emotional stress.”

Let’s delve a little deeper into the “happiness hormones”

For her part, sexologist and sex coach Allie Theiss explained to us that endorphins are our body’s natural painkillers. “[They’re] crucial in pain management,” she said. “They reduce pain and promote well-being and pleasure, making them a potent tool in the fight against chronic pain.”

For its part, oxytocin, better known as our “love hormone,” is released during physical intimacy and orgasm. It can help reduce pain by promoting relaxation and reducing stress levels. Oxytocin release during orgasm contributes to feelings of bonding and pain relief.

Another hormone released with pleasure is dopamine. This neurotransmitter is associated with the brain’s reward and pleasure centers. Dopamine “is essential for mood enhancement and pain relief,” explains Theiss.

Likewise, sexual arousal and pleasure release another neurotransmitter called serotonin. This neurotransmitter regulates mood and contributes to feelings of happiness and relaxation. “After orgasm, the brain releases serotonin, which causes relaxation and postcoital drowsiness, which helps control pain,” adds Theiss.

Better yet, having a healthy sex life boosts cardiovascular health

As Lyons explained, regular sex can help heart health. The average orgasm can burn “about four calories at a time, not to mention all the calories burned in preparation.”

“The better your cardiovascular health, the more oxygen you take in per breath, which leads to better natural pain control,” she added.

For her part, Theiss added that our body also releases the hormone vasopressin, associated with the “regulation of sexual motivation and attachment.” This hormone contributes to feelings of well-being and pain reduction after sex.”

“These chemicals work together to create a sense of relaxation, reduce stress, and elevate mood, all of which can reduce pain perception,” she added. “The physical activity involved in intercourse not only helps relieve pain but also promotes overall well-being by increasing blood flow and muscle relaxation.”

How can someone with chronic pain improve their sex life?

This is perhaps the most complicated part. While conversations about sex in health care are reduced to reproductive health or infectious diseases, there is little talk about the treatment of musculoskeletal ailments.

People suffering from chronic pain often avoid sex because of exacerbation of pain, lack of arousal, lack of orgasm, sexual problems secondary to opioid and other medication use, and even intimacy issues.

So, the first thing to do is to break the silence and talk to specialists, although we know that half of the responsibility is theirs. The second thing is learning that some positions and postures help with pleasure and relieve pain.

“The first step is for healthcare professionals to recognize that sex is important for all patients,” Hilda Hutcherson, M.D., professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York, told Med Central. “Once you recognize this, it’s much easier to make asking about sex a natural and normal part of the conversation… every time you see a patient,” she added.

Dr. Hutcherson also has a couple of thoughts on posture: “For my female patients with pelvic pain, I find that often a side-to-side position or a sitting position tends to give less pain… One of the advantages of using support pillows is that sometimes the patient discovers new areas of the body that are stimulated because people tend to have sex the same way all their lives,” says Dr. Hutcherson.

It is crucial to know that sex is not just intercourse.

For people whose condition makes intercourse unbearable, such as chronic pelvic pain, Dr. Hutcherson recommends that her patients “think about oral sex or mutual/individual masturbation, use of a sex toy, fantasy, and massage.”

Similarly, for those suffering from chronic back pain, there are positions such as partner on top, doggy style, sitting and kneeling, and prone position that help keep pain at bay while allowing your body to release those “happy hormones.”

While many specialists recommend different positions for each ailment, one thing is clear: communication with your partner is key.

“When you’re in pain, it affects you and your partner: you don’t want him or her to touch you for fear that it will hurt even more,” says Grayson Schultz, a sex educator at Chronic Sex. “Your partner, fearful of causing you pain, may withdraw and feel isolated as well.”

Schultz recommends talking about your pain regularly, normalizing it, and reminding each other that, despite the obstacles, you still feel attracted to each other. “When we’re dealing with chronic pain, we may not feel attractive,” Schultz says. “Having our partners share the things they find attractive about us and the ways they still see us as ourselves can be really helpful.”