I Stayed Silent During a Salary Negotiation, and It Cost Me Years

Have you ever wished you had the courage to speak up or advocate for yourself at work? To say what was on your mind, knowing that you had the receipts to back it up?

I’ve been put to this test many times over the years. And I’m not ashamed to say that I failed more than once. I either didn’t have the words, or I was too afraid of what the outcome might be if I did.

Does this sound familiar? Have you ever held yourself back out of fear, only to end up in a situation that really didn’t serve you? And in that moment, was there a part of you that knew all it took was courage to show up for yourself?

It happened to me many times, including a key salary negotiation, until I finally decided to do something about it.

There was one particular time when the outcome was so bad that I actually couldn’t deny that things needed to change. I could no longer leave my future in the hands of chance. I knew I would have to be brave and bold to make my career goals and ambitions a reality.

On this one occasion, I was recruited by a company that offered me the same salary I was making with the firm I was working for at the time. I told them they had to make me a better offer if they wanted me to join. However, I didn’t specify how much. They then asked me for the “magic number” to come work for them. I had created a spreadsheet that showed exactly how much more I needed to earn to make the move worthwhile. Instead of sharing that number, I played it safe. And gave them a number that was lower than the magic number. That was failure point number one.

After joining them at a salary that was not what I deserved for the experience I brought to the table, I referred a colleague for the same role. He ended up getting hired at a more senior level, even though he and I had held similar roles at our previous employer. That was failure point number two.

I didn’t blame my friend for getting hired for a more senior role. I was just struggling with the fact that I didn’t get that same opportunity. When I raised the issue with my manager and HR, they said nothing could be done. The best they could offer me was a fast promotion that wouldn’t happen until 13 months later. That meant my salary would stay the same until that time. 

Not only had I sold myself short. I managed to find myself in a situation that would set me back salary-wise for years to come.

This experience was a wake-up call.  It changed my entire approach to salary negotiations and promotions. It made me realize that I was in a tough situation because I hadn’t trusted myself enough to ask for what I deserved. And I realized I had to show up differently if I wanted different outcomes.

These days, one of the first things I do when I start a new job is talk to my manager about where I see myself going and in what timeframe. I ask for transparency around the promotion process and make it clear that I’m looking for their support in achieving my goals. I seek out mentors and sponsors to champion my efforts. And if I’m ever in possession of a magic number again, you can bet I will be adding 10% to it—and sharing that number.

We can thrive in any space we choose, to the extent that we are brave, show up for ourselves, and boldly use our voices. Because, sis, we have more power than we think. We just have to summon the courage to use it!

About the Author

Hady Méndez is a NY–based Latina speaker, ERG coach, and founder of Boldly Speaking LLC, a company dedicated to empowering underestimated professionals. She currently serves as Director of Programs for Lean In Latinas and broadly focuses on leadership development and empowering employees to advocate for themselves. Hady’s debut book, Calladita No More, releases September 15, 2025. Outside of work, Hady enjoys street art photography and listening to podcasts.