Awakening My Inner Goddess: How I Learned To Meditate, Embrace Stillness, and Not Fall Asleep in the Process
As far back as I can remember, my mind has always had this problem with racing. I could never slow down, and my mind seemed to pick up more pace, especially when I intended to relax. Meditating was simply not in my vocabulary.
By the time I was in my late twenties, juggling work, motherhood, and trying to keep a creative outlet had me exhausted. Even worse, my insomnia had gotten so bad. I was tired but never seemed to be able to give my mind and body the rest and care they desperately needed.
I’d heard so much about meditation and gave it a few tries a few years ago but couldn’t stick to it. Either I’d fall asleep trying, or my mind would go wild with anxious thoughts. I’d end the meditation session in frustration.
But after doing further research on the benefits of meditation and becoming more intentional on my journey to self-healing and self-love, I knew I had to give it another try. Meditation can significantly improve mental and emotional health, reduce stress and anxiety, and help you to become more focused. And just as with everything else, trial and error is part of the process. Learning to meditate has genuinely helped me to feel more in tune with myself. It has helped me to be kinder and awaken the inner Goddess I didn’t know I had.
Tossing out old beliefs
One of the first obstacles I had to overcome was old beliefs that wellness and emotional health are not important. Watching my mother over the years overwork herself and never set aside time for self-care eventually shaped how I treated myself as an adult.
I was so used to being in hustle mode. I needed to get things done, work hard, and clean the house every day. If my siblings or I ever said we were bored or depressed, she’d have an easy fix. She would say, “Pues ponte a limpiar. No puedes estar triste cuando hay mucho que hacer.”
Eventually, I realized this hustle mentality was something ingrained in her. In fact, no one had ever taught her how important it was to take time for herself. It was a challenging but necessary adjustment to see that self-care is not a selfish thing.
One TikTok video by Perla Tamez Casanovas, aka @thelatinaempire, describes how the Latino culture tends to stigmatize things related to mental health, such as therapy and even meditation. I had an aunt who once tried to convince me and my siblings that yoga was a Satanic practice. So, learning to separate my beliefs from my family’s was a huge step forward. Casanovas says that meditation is a form of deep, intentional prayer, regardless of what you believe in. It’s about having a conversation, whether with oneself, God, the universe, etc., about your struggles and goals.
For me, learning to have gentle conversations with myself while focusing on the physical act of breathing was how I started meditating regularly. Instead of forcing myself to relax and shut my brain down, I learned to listen, be patient, and be in the moment.
Get to the heart of the matter
Some people are indeed led more by their mind than by their heart, and vice versa. If you’re like me, always looking to make logical decisions and overanalyzing, it’s easy to get stuck in your head. But ignoring your emotions can backfire, such as bringing on negative thoughts. Part of my reason for practicing meditations is to learn to balance my mind and my feelings and place equal weight on both.
Another Latina Tiktok creator, @natalia.ilt, shares her steps to bring awareness from your mind to your heart. She demonstrates her breathing technique. With eyes closed, she asks the viewer to be grateful to their brain for its protection and knowledge. She then asks us to visualize the light of awareness in our brain traveling down our bodies and into our hearts. Recognizing that your emotions may differ from your mind is a good entryway into reflection and self-discovery.
So, whenever I meditate on something, I make sure to consider my emotions as well as my thoughts. Doing this helps me feel much more grounded by the time I’m done with my session.
Meditation sometimes is about being open-minded
Having three young daughters, I don’t always have access to a quiet space. So I have to be creative, and that’s another area in which meditation has really helped me.
Though I try to meditate briefly in the mornings, I have better luck at night when everyone is asleep. Some days, it’s so much easier to embrace the stillness and silence. On other days, I need a little extra help.
I’ve always been a huge fan of crystals. So, if I’m having trouble focusing on my breathing, I like to hold a chunk of amethyst in my hand for peace and clarity or a piece of rose quartz for its healing properties.
Holding these stones during meditation helps me to understand what I am in need of at the moment. I then take the time to remember that I am in control of my fears and worries.
@prosperamamameditation also gives some great tips for those new to or struggling with meditation. She recommends wearing a blindfold during meditation to block out external noise as well as negative thoughts because it shuts down your prefrontal cortex. She also suggests using essential oils to clear the energy in your space and create a sense of peace. I personally love using roll-on lavender oil on my wrists, which I deeply inhale right before I meditate, and it definitely makes me more relaxed and centered.
Lastly, @prosperamamameditation also recommends setting aside at least fifteen minutes for meditation every day. She explains that this changes your brainwaves and will help you “go from reactive to proactive in your life.”
Opening my mind is what initially led me to try and meditate, just as it led me to see a therapist to get a better understanding of myself. You’ll never know until you try something new for your well-being, and it might just be life-changing. I promise you are worth the journey, and your inner Goddess is waiting to shine through.