Picture this little piece of heaven: clean sheets, a tidy room, a delicate scent of lavender, and maybe some flowers in the window. That’s your room, all to yourself, away from the chaos of the house and everything that comes with sharing a room with your partner.

Yes, let’s be realistic. In this economy, having a house for yourself is practically impossible. But for those who know what living as a couple entails, Cameron Diaz seems to have come up with the solution.

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In a recent interview with Molly Sims and Emese Gormley of the “Lipstick on the Rim” podcast, Diaz shared what she considers the ideal scenario for couple living.

“We should normalize separate bedrooms,” said Diaz, who is married to musician and Good Charlotte frontman Benji Madden.

“For me, it would literally be: I have my house, you have yours,” the actress continued. “We have the family home in between. I’ll go sleep in my room. You go sleep in your room. I’m fine.”

Diaz added that couples can “have the bedroom in the middle that we can convene in for our relations.”

However, the actress clarified that this is not her situation, as her husband is “wonderful.”

Credit: Getty Images.

A not-so-unpopular opinion

Although the “The Sweetest Thing” actress’ opinion opened an important online conversation, she is not the first to think of such a solution.

Virginia Woolf used to say that “a woman must have money and a room of her own if she wants to write fiction.” And while we don’t all write fiction, the advice still holds true.

In fact, according to a survey conducted by the Better Sleep Council, more than 25% of couples opt for separate sleeping spaces. For some, this meant sleeping in separate bedrooms. Others opted for two beds in the same room.

The survey also found that women’s sleep suffers more than men’s, citing that “women are more sensitive to their sleep environment.”

Another study conducted in January 2023 by the International Housewares Association for the New York Times revealed that one in five couples sleep in separate bedrooms.

For Twitter user Jessica Malone Grider, this has been a choice since the beginning of her marriage. The user wrote that, after ten years of marriage, she and her husband have never shared a room.

“Room sharing doesn’t work for us, and I wish more people were willing to admit that,” she added.

Credit: Getty Images.

Having separate bedrooms could be a health concern

Whatever our opinion, science agrees that there are many benefits to sleeping separately.

According to research from the University of Arizona’s Department of Psychiatry, there are many risks of a lack of sleep. Insufficient sleep is associated with weight gain, obesity, inflammation, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and mortality. 

Therefore, if sleeping in separate rooms helps to have better sleep, consequently, it could improve many other aspects of daily life.

In addition, experts suggest that sleeping alone may help couples stay together.

study published in the journal “Psychoneuroendocrinology” showed the consequences of insufficient sleep on a relationship. Researchers at Ohio State University corroborated this by determining significantly higher levels of stress-related inflammation in couples who fought after not getting enough sleep.

Credit: Getty Images.

Is it actually a marriage if you don’t share a bedroom?

For some Twitter users, Cameron Diaz’s recommendation is not an option.

“I think separate bedrooms are healthy for […] hobbies and space when needed,” wrote one user. “But ALWAYS sleeping apart is definitely an option.”

“What is [a] marriage if you both sleep in different rooms[?],” wrote another.

Indeed, there are those for whom sleeping apart has meant a breakdown in couple dynamics.

Several users shared their experience of having separate bedrooms in a Reddit thread, and opinions were mixed.

“Sleeping is awesome,” wrote one user. “But my marriage sucks.”

“I hate the effect it’s had on our marriage,” wrote another.

But for most users, it was pretty much the best decision they ever made.

My husband and I are totally incompatible in terms of our sleeping needs. Basically, I need some light in the room and some white noise, and he needs total darkness and silence,” wrote one user. “We tried to find a middle ground for years, but there simply wasn’t one. One of us was always cranky and tired. We finally decided to try the separate bedrooms thing, and it completely changed our lives.”

“A lot of people think our marriage is a disaster because we sleep in different beds, but we don’t give a damn. Now our sex life is amazing because we’re not tired all the time anymore.”

Perhaps Cameron Diaz was onto something after all.